I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
