Swine flu is the new snow day.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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