i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
