Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
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But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
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You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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