It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize