It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
