I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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