what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
birth control should be required to get into college
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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