My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize