i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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