Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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