i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize