Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
