i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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