I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
