I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
