OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize