Little spoons don't ask big questions
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
