OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
