i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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