i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
