she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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