About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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