Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
