I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
