The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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