And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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