Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
