Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
