you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
