Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
