a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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