Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Then you guys just all showered together...?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
