at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize