nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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