he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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