I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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