Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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