I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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