wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
