i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
