Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
