the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
