i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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