ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
