She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
