oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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