listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
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