weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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