Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
