Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
