oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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