Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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