i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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