ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
