I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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