Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
